reason
- I resigned from my position at WEGO Health on Monday. Two and a half years of writing about HIV and AIDS, women’s health, depression and anxiety and infertility, belonging to a Health Activist community that supported and understood me and working with an amazing cast of characters changed my life. I was blessed by this job, it was sad to leave.
- I did everything wrong on Tuesday. I’m still “new” at work … there are still hundreds of things I have to learn, but I am expected to know things I just don’t *get* yet. I do them wrong. I need correction. I know this. It’s frustrating but I know I’m still learning.
- Wednesday was when the aches began. It always starts between my shoulders and in my iliosacral joints. When I notice it in those two places, I watch for it in my shoulders and in my hips. As of Friday it has progressed into my ankles and my big toes. This is a normal flare-up. The last one I had was in March.
- On Thursday I realized that I still hadn’t heard about my health insurance application. The stress of not being accepted was suddenly VERY very real – if I’m not approved, I don’t know what I’m going to (supposed to?) do. I desperately need medical care at this point of my life and the stress of maybe not getting it is hurting me even more. I was bitchy with TheMister to the point where I hurt his feelings. I fell asleep without telling him goodnight, or even that I love him. I didn’t tell the man of my dreams, the ONE for me, MY one, my best friend, that I loved him before I fell asleep. This has bothered me since.
- The best thing about Friday was learning that my Maidenform bras were being shipped. No joke. Second best? I am in control of the remote right now.
It has been a very hard week for me, and I don’t know that the weekend will be any better. I’m not even being super-pessimistic, I just know that as my ankylosing spondylitis flare up continues, the pain will increase and I will be even grouchier, as well as less mobile and more stiff. I’m not looking forward to not being able to type without pain on Monday – especially since the CEO/CFO of my company is in the office doing interviews for a media thing.
*sigh*
(I didn’t write this post for sympathy. I wrote this post to get a slew of issues off my heart before I try to shut down for the evening.)
Awww honey. *HUGS*
Sorry to read that, shitty weeks suck. I hope next week is better.
Someone told me a few years ago that it takes about a year to become an expert in a new job. I have found this to be *SO* true. But yeah, the new job phase is rough. Very anxiety-inducing.
Re: health insurance – there are plans you can get that just may not cover much (but will reduce your costs overall). My friend Sabrina's mom is an insurance broker and can help you find the best plan for the money. Once you hear back from Kaiser (you will hear back), you can reassess and contact her if need be. Also, does your employer offer a Flexible Spending Account? That can help you pay for your healthcare pre-tax and save you a bunch of money.
I wish there was something I could do to help with your pain. Let me know if there is, okay? Or if I can provide some distraction from it at least.
BTW, Jack's gift arrived today! We haven't opened the box yet but if you want to come by for a special unveiling before the party, you are totally welcome to.
Thanks <3ey
So far … uhm … yeah … wel it's mostly better.
A year. I can do that. I will do it in eight months, actually.
Re: health insurance – I'm calling tomorrow to see what's up.
W/regards to my pain – you've already done a lot … as much as you could.
I am so sorry you're in pain again. Oddly enough, I'm at the beginning of a flare-up, myself. Hang in there and try not to be too hard on yourself; we all get into arguments with the people we love, but they know and we know that we love each other. You will also get the hang of your new job. You will! *hugs*