On July 11, 2006, I noticed that ThEx didn’t have on his wedding band. When I asked him “where’s your ring?” he replied, unfeeling and cooly “Sarah, I’m thinking about leaving you.” Until that moment, I didn’t fully understand the feeling of your stomach bottoming out, I didn’t understand heartbreak, I didn’t understand true fear. After two days of discussions, sleeping in separate locations and many many many tears, ThEx left me. For the first (and so far the last) time in my life, I threw something.* I began packing that night, and two weeks later I moved out of our house and tried to start life over.
On July 11th (as well as the 13th) of 2007, I spent the night(s) drunk and sobbing with friends. I forced myself to forget the hurt that ThEx had caused and I realized how very miserable of a life I was making for myself.
On July 11th, 2008, I don’t actually remember what I was doing, but living alone and learning to move on was progression. I was thankful to be almost done with my second degree, working at a job I both enjoyed and was good at, and my life was slowly morphing into what I wanted it to be.
On July 11, 2009, I was anticipating my first visit to San Francisco. I was excited to see my people and to meet TheMister. Though I was miserable in a job I had previously loved, I was still managing to kick ass while there. I had plans to change things and was progressing toward them.
On July 11, 2010, I went to a 4-year-old’s birthday party. I helped the man of my dreams put together a Toy Story desk and enjoyed the company of my people while playing board games. I snuggled with and fell asleep in the arms of the man I know I’m going to marry and it was a good day.
On July 27, 2010, I realized that I forgot about July 11th, 2006. I pushed myself hard in a physical workout and sweated more than I had in ages. I fell asleep alone in my own bed, without being sad about anything. I grinned when I told TheMister about my revelation – I think he probably grinned, too.
On July 28, 2010, I spent the day beaming with pride, finally understanding what moving on means.
*I threw a framed photograph of us at the bedroom wall, denting the wall, breaking the frame and the glass.
Wonderfully said. It took me years to get over my first love, who unceremoniously dumped me 1 month after I was diagnosed with cancer.
So when are you and TheMister making it official???
He was an asshole. Seriously – who ends things like that?? It sounds like he was purposely being a bastard to you. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you then. I would have been if I wasn't in the hospital pushing out a kid!
I'm *so* glad you are where you are now! I have seen so much strength in you since your split with TheEx. You've come a long way, hon, and I'm proud of you.
That is a huge milestone! Good for you! and good for you and TheMister.
i am so proud of you. like we were talking about– it's now just ” a day”, right?
ps: you need to change my link on your sidebar goober
What an awesome post! I'm glad you have been able to move on and find love again. That's wonderful! ~~Jeanine
congratulations:)
It’s a good feeling when what felt like the end of the world fades away! I (sort of) remember the date my ex told me he’d cheated on me, but now? It means nothing. It’s just another day. And I’m sooo happy with Mike. I’m glad you’re happy, too.
@Selena – thank you. Boys are stupid most of the time.
TheMister and I will be moving in with one another in October. That’s official at least!
<3 Thanks Tara - I'm pretty proud of myself.
LOL He was. That’s okay. I wasn’t the best wife. I know that.
Thanks for being such a strong support for me through the past few years – it has not gone unnoticed. ILY
Thanks Jennifer!!
Thanks for stopping by, Jeanine – thanks for the encouragement and support, too!
Maybe I don’t wanna change the link.
And yeah, it’s amazing for it to be “just a day” in our lives. I’m proud of the both of us! xoxo
I can’t get over the feeling that it’s fading like it is. I’m so very pleased with that fact! So glad that we’re both happy! <3